SPOKANE AIRPORT EXPRESS SHUTTLE 509 413 7986

911 WAS HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL, BY THE ANONYMOUS CABBY

It looked like a scene out of a science fiction movie; something flying in the sky, people running around like decapitated chicken. But there were no aliens flying above. Look up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane. No! It’s the President’s personal air cruiser, Air Force One! How did this happen? Why are the people so frightened? Is the whole damn city, if not nation, suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? At this point, I would have to answer this with a resounding yes. But, how did we get here?

People are blaming the buffoons who ran this free and most thrilling air show for not telling the local government that these exercises would take place and therefore terrifying local citizens that gazed up in horror. But what really caused this terror? The Encyclopedia Britannica (online version) describes terrorism as “the systematic use of violence to create a general climate of fear in a population and thereby to bring about a particular political objective…” And there-in lies the answer. What was the “political objective” behind these attacks? Terrorism is a vehicle that terrorist leaders use to deliver their message (with gravitated impact, I might add) to their intended target. Don’t believe me? The average American didn’t even know what a Muslim was before this attack—but they do now. This fact alone exemplifies just how successful this mission really was. They wanted us to know who they were and now we do. They wanted us to be afraid and we were. Eight long years later, we still apparently live in fear.

That’s right Americans, come get your gas mask here because you never know when someone will gas you with sarin while your trying to catch a train. Don’t have a chemical suit? Shame on you because you never know when Air Force One will come flying overhead and drop anthrax down on you. Dirty bombs are very dangerous; they can make us glow in the dark (easier for those Muslims hiding behind every bush to see us). Don’t bring any bottles with over 3 fluid ounces to the airport, oh, and, by the way, shoe bombs are not allowed, either. Get your assault rifles now because “the Iraqians are Coming! The Iraqians are coming!”
Mel Brooks has nothing on this dark comedy.

Remember when we use to display our flags and bumper stickers so proudly after 911? Remember when we sang God Bless America at ball games and had moments of silence for those who’d been killed in this massacre? “United We Stand” was seen everywhere. We had come together as a nation, we all thought; we’d won. Or did we? And if we did all come together what did we come together as? Did we unite as a nation of petrified cattle--with those terrible images of the Twin Towers collapsing forever stamped in our minds--ready to stampede the moment an aircraft flies too close to our skyscrapers? What have we become?

Let’s face it. The terrorist attacks of 911 were highly, highly successful. They achieved more than they had ever dreamed and we will have nightmares of those buildings falling down until we close our eyes for the last time—I hope.

And, isn’t it ironic that this particular episode of terror was invoked by the President’s very own plane? So where does this leave us? Hell, I don’t know. I was just trying figure out why everyone was running about like they were being chased by Godzilla or something. I do know that we shouldn’t blame the government every time a dark shadow flies overhead and scares the petunias out of us. And I know that we shouldn’t blame Muslims for the acts of terrorists killing in the name of Muslims. 99.99999999999999…% of Muslims are not terrorists and do not support terrorism. So what was the message that Osama Bin Laden was trying to convey by way of these cowardly acts? Well, you'll just have to check out one of my future articles.

Signed,

The Anonymous Cabby